


Empathy

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, F/M, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Humanstuck, M/M, Minor Violence, Sexual Harassment, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-24
Updated: 2013-11-24
Packaged: 2018-01-02 12:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1056577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave makes a shocking yet pleasant discovery, the flames of his passion are fueled, and Tavros gets a face full of apple juice that he did not ask for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Empathy

**Author's Note:**

> i couldn't get the indents to work im sorry this is the first thing ive actually really written so  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-v3sVWT8pA

Karkat is having a bad fucking Monday. He rolls over in bed, ripping his alarm clock out of the wall and throwing it hard enough to crack the shiny plastic casing. The heater is on and the mellow buzz is a comforting noise. He doesn’t want to move but when he does his feet hit the cold floor and he sighs, struggling into his binder in the soft morning light his window allows. He contemplates the weather and pulls a t shirt and a pilling gray pullover out of his drawer, because it’s going to be in the thirties and he is just not prepared for that kind of bullshit. His jeans are are a little too snug around the hips and he spends twenty minutes looking at himself in the mirror. Girl, girlgirlgirlgirl. It’s all he can see. The dark circles under his eyes are prominent, and so are his curves. His dark curls are messy and he can’t be bothered to yank a brush through them, he’s going to be late as it is. He worries his lip and pulls a beanie on, deep burgundy, throwing a towel over the mirror. Boy. Boy, boy, boy, boy, boy. His dad claps him on the shoulder when he’s about to leave. He’s only just coming in.  
“Got your books, kid?” He’s shoving a silver package into his hand. “Make sure you eat.” He crashes on the couch without much more to say, his suit wrinkling. Karkat throws a blanket over him and eats the poptarts on his way to school. Someone has slipped a letter into his locker, and when he tears open the envelope he finds it’s only a hastily scribbled “FAGGOT” in brightly colored ink. He slams his locker shut. He figures he must be having bad luck with lockers because during gym he gets shoved into the wall in the locker room.  
“Fucking faggot!” It’s a popular word today. He doesn’t bother changing, he just leaves. The coach doesn’t stop him, but he pats him on the back and tell him he won't be counted absent, because he knows, it’s tough for a fine young man to grow up. He doesn’t say anything, because he knows he knows and it only reminds him that there is something about him that makes his teacher pity him. On any other day he would be grateful but today he can only think that it would be so much simpler if there wasn’t anything to pity. He spends the period in the library, but the volunteer librarian purses her lips when she sees the bruise forming on his cheek. She sends him to the nurse, the nurse who worked at his middle school on the opposite side of the city, the nurse who always wore the symbol of her weird cultist religion around her neck, and she calls him by the wrong name. When he corrects her she clucks her tongue. The metal pendant swings when she turns, something between a circle and another ambiguous shape he’s never been able to make out. She claims it’s not religious, but he doesn’t particularly care when she reduces him to his genitals like she’s doing now. He wants to strangle her, throw her to the floor and wrap his hands around her neck until her face turns purple. Instead he looks at the marbled tiles of the floor as she hands him the ice pack. He’s lucky this skin didn’t split. This is going to be a nasty bruise.  
“Now, just because they changed your name in the records doesn’t mean it’s not your name, young lady. Enough with this silly nonsense, I think it’s high time-” He doesn’t get to hear what she thinks it’s high time for, because he’s had enough of her bullshit and he’s already got an ice pack so there’s no point in sticking around. He’s made it a point not to go to the nurses more than necessary. He doesn’t think he’ll go back at all. He can’t risk her calling him out if there happens to be another student in there next time,so there can’t be a next time. He makes a note to start carrying a first aid kit. The bell rings for the second time that day and then the students pour into the hallways, jostling other kids and knocking books from each others arms. When Karkat is the first to make it to his math class, he sighs. It’s been a long fucking day, and it’s barely ten o’ clock.

By the time lunch rolls around, Eridan is being a douche, rambling about his latest lay. He's biting his lower lip like he's imagining it over again in his mind, pantomiming running his hands over voluptuous curves. Tavros is starting to look a little pale.  
"Uh, maybe.... You should be more respectful of-" Eridan just talks over him, going into what is likely exaggerated detail. It's reaching hyperbolic proportions when Karkat sits down, dropping his tray on the table with a disgusted sigh. A bag of chips and the cafeteria's potato wedges. Dave sits next to him, cracking the seal on his bottle of apple juice. The wind outside is loud enough to hear over the roar of lunchroom.  
"Yo, what are we talking about? Tav looks like he's gonna puke." He sniggers into the mouth of the bottle and grins. "Nah, but seriously, what's good?" Tavros smiles at Dave bashfully, opening his mouth to answer, but Eridan scoffs, straightening the loose purple scarf hanging around his shoulders. It doesn’t keep him warm, it’s a fashion statement, and it’s silk.  
"Tav here can't handle the tellin's of my amazin' love life. I fucked this bitch last night and holy shit, it was incredible. You should have seen the way she-" Smack. A potato wedge hits him in the face and bounces under the table. Karkat is grinding his teeth, gripping the edge of the table so hard his knuckles lose their color. No fucking way is he going to sit calmly and listen to this garbage again.  
"You fucking piece of shit, I don't even want to know. First of all, whoever actually felt charitable enough to sleep with you was not a "bitch" and I don't know where in the fresh flying fuck you get off thinking you can talk about women like that. I'm sick of your bullshit, Ampora. You should prostrate yourself on the floor beneath her, thanking her for even looking your way to begin with. Do you even stop to think before you just let bullshit pour out of that gaping hole you call your mouth? You're a festering sack of shit and I swear if you even think of flapping those disgusting chapstick deprived lips together and making sounds that even resemble something sexist I will cut your throat and eviscerate you. Nobody will even know you’re gone." He shoves a handful of chips into his mouth and swallows his chocolate milk, fuming. Eridan looks affronted, eyebrows raised.  
"Holy shit, Kar, don't you think you're over reactin'? I was only tryin' to-" Another sliced potato to the face, skewing his glasses.  
"Don’t talk, don’t say another goddamn word. Every day, every lunch period I put up with your asinine bullshit and I’m not dealing with it today. What you were tryin' to do," He drawls, mocking Eridan's accent, "Is fucking irrelevant. Do I look like I give a fuck? Don't try to placate me with your horseshit, because whatever reason you have will only serve to make me angrier, and so help me god if any of you fuckers sitting around this table are going to be sexism apologists, I want you to know I have enough potato wedges for all of you and enough fury to blind me, I'll plea innocent by reason of insanity, it was a crime of passion, because I just couldn't fucking stop myself from bashing their heads into the concrete, your honor, they were all such fucking douche bags!" He's not even out of breath yet, and Dave is doubling over in his attempt to contain his laughter. Eridan scowls at him, running a hand through his blonde hair. The purple stripe is fading to a pastel grape. The filtered instagram photo he took in his bathroom has three notes on tumblr. The whole cafeteria is chattering, but their own table is more or less silent. When Eridan talks he spits with venom.  
"I don't see what the fuck kind of a problem you fuckin’ got, Kar, and I don't know why you're all up your dick about matters that aren't even concernin' you, it's not like I'm callin' you a bitch." He sniffs and looks down his sharp nose, arms crossed. He looks like a tool. Karkat shakes the whole table by the force with which he slaps it, standing up.  
"The reason I'm 'all up my dick about it,' is because I don't have one. I spent years with people treating me like you treat women, and it's not okay. Even if I did, what kind of person lacks decency to such a degree they can't even bring themselves to respect other human beings on a basic level? You're scum, Eridan, and your hair looks like shit." Dave chokes and spits out his apple juice. Tavros sputters and starts pressing napkins to his face, wiping away the juice dripping down his chin.  
"Fuck, sorry dude!" Tavros shakes his head, insisting he's fine as Dave pushes more napkins into his hands, jaw still hanging open. Karkat is already walking away, fists balled tight. His gray sweater isn't enough to protect him from the cold but he's pushing open the double doors that lead outside. Dave gets up so fast he nearly trips. He's chasing after him, and when the chill outside hits his face he runs as fast as he can, catching Karkat by the shoulder. Karkat is shaking, but he doesn't turn around.  
"The fuck do you want, Strider?" His voice is carefully measured, and as cold as the winter air around them.  
"I need to talk to you. It's important. But we need to be alone." His words come fast and clipped, sounding harsher than he meant them to. Around the side of the building a group of sophmores are passing a glass pipe to each other. It's pretty, clear and gold, but if they're caught, they're fucked. They'd be better off with a joint. Karkat turns, looking up. He's a head shorter than Dave, and his messy black hair just meets Dave's chin. His cinnamon eyes are narrowed.  
"I just fucking outed myself in front of you, do you honestly think I'm stupid enough to go anywhere alone with you? Or with anyone ever again? I had to get out of there, but by this time tomorrow, I'll- Fuck. I'm going to have to transfer schools again, my dad is going to be so fucking pissed. I shouldn't have said anything. Why did I do that? Why did I think that was a good idea!?" Dave shakes his head.  
"What? No, I'm not. I'm not going to beat you up or some shit! What the hell dude? I've known you for how long?" Tugging the sleeves of his sweater over his chilled fingertips, he sighs.  
"Why do you think that makes a difference? Everyone is all buddy buddy with you until they figure out you have a cunt, then they're asking invasive questions when they're not harassing you, pushing you into lockers and shit. Do you know how many black eyes you can get in six months? Because I do! It’s bad enough here as it is, everyone already knows there’s something wrong with me! They’ll just know what it is now, and like hell that won’t make it all the more fucking terrible." He's trembling, and Dave pulls off his hoodie, throwing it over Karkat's shoulders.  
"Meet me under the bleachers in thirty minutes, alright? Fuck classes, we'll skip." He chews his lip, rolling it between his teeth. "Please?" The small hopeful smile he gives must look genuine enough, because Karkat is nodding. Dave grins, and spins on his heel to run inside, leaving Karkat looking bewildered in a warm sweater that smells like detergent and vanilla.

TG: houston we have a problem  
TG: jade are you there  
TG: please pick up cmon  
TG: motherfucker i know you have your phone on you  
TG: come in commander harley theres a storm brewing on the battlefront  
TG: ten people just died because you arent answering  
GG: oh wow! thats just awful!  
TG: fucking finally girl what took you so damn long  
GG: ive been really busy dave! latula got reeeeally drunk last night and made out with some douchey underclassman who keeps bugging her. he’s really persistent.  
TG: oh my god  
TG: was it eridan  
GG: uh.  
TG: ohhhh my god thats fucking hilarious  
GG: what?  
TG: nothing ill punch him later  
TG: anyway im freaking out right now holy shit i have a hot date with vantas in twenty  
GG: a date? wow! thats really great dave! i guess you finally made your move!  
TG: well no ok so its not a date more me confessing things to him but holy shit  
TG: some shit went down today  
TG: basically the catalyst to the nuclear reaction that is my intense feelings bubbling over  
TG: fucking mad crazy like you wouldnt believe  
GG: oh? what happened?  
TG: i found out something that i cant really tell you because honestly its not my place to  
TG: but basically hes my soul mate in every possible way and im going to gay marry him  
GG: i think i know what youre talking about :B  
TG: what no theres no way you could possibly know  
GG: he asked me for a tampon last week.  
TG: oh shit so he trusts you enough to share that kind of shit with you then  
TG: i didnt know yall were that close.  
TG: im kind of jealous tbh  
GG: he asked for terezi. but i didn’t have one!  
TG: oh  
GG: its okay! i knew anyway i just needed to make sure we were talking about the same thing!  
TG: well shit do you have some kind of weird trans intuition thing or what hahaha  
GG: yes, i know about you too, dave! you cant hide anything from me!  
TG: fuck well i was gonna tell you eventually guess now is the time  
TG: youre a scary chick jade i dont know how you know everything its like you see into my soul  
TG: are you psychic or something what kind of girl are you  
GG: the kind with a penis :B  
TG: wtf  
TG: ok wow thats kind of  
TG: why didnt you tell me sooner if you knew about me  
TG: i thought we were tighter than that  
GG: i didnt want you to come out to me out of obligation!  
GG: anyway your time is running kind of short dont you think? your karkat date!  
TG: oh fuck ok ill talk to you later  
TG: <3  
GG: hehe <3

Dave shoves his phone into his pocket and grabs his jacket from his locker. The brown leather smells faintly like cigarettes and a lot like cinnamon gum. He pulls a hat on, the soft fur of the ear flaps keeping the sides of his face warm as he jogs out into the cold. Five minutes. The grass under the bleachers is slick but when he sees Karkat his face splits into the most obvious grin. His dark skin doesn’t show the flush of his cheeks but he’s burning, heart hammering in his chest. Karkat only looks pissed. He approaches him but he doesn’t know what to stay, so he grabs his face and kisses him without thought. It’s fast and clumsy and when he pulls back Karkat’s fist connects with his stomach.  
“What in the sweet blue fuck do you think you’re doing, Strider? Were you born without any sense? You don't just fucking kiss people without asking!” With his punch, he’s fallen backwards into the grass and scrambles to get back up. Dave’s brain is struggling to make any sort of connection, to think anything but ‘fuck ow’ or ‘wow he punches hard thats so hot.’ He needs to say something before Karkat leaves. Something, anything, to keep him from walking away.  
“I think you’re perfect.” The edge of Karkat’s mouth lifts in a sneer, brows furrowed and eyes hard. His voice cuts like a knife, every word clear.  
“Is this some weird fetishization shit? I’m not something to be objectified, Dave.” He jabs a finger into his chest. “I’m not something for you to fantasize about, you sick fuck. Do you think that because I’m trans I’m going to be desperate for the attention of the first person who will have me? You’re such a fucking prick. Don’t you ever talk to me again. If I so much as hear you speak one word to me, I will cut of your hands and feed them to goats.” Dave is shaking his head, words caught in his throat. He sheds his jacket, trying to make some noise. When he starts peeling off his shirt, Karkat screams. “WHAT THE FU-”  
He’s wearing a binder. It’s black with clasps on the side and it’s something Karkat vaguely remembers being one of the models he’d considered before settling on the white tri-top he’s wearing now. It’s a binder. A fucking binder. Dave is gesturing at it with both hands, and his words come out breathless.  
“Me too, dude!” Karkat punches him again. Dave is the one to fall this time and laughs, holding his stomach. He pulls on his shirt and jacket, looking up at Karkat from the ground. His eyes shine. “I think you’re fucking incredible and I’ve liked you for so long, but this kind of. It like, sealed the deal, you know? Nobody gets me like you do, and apparently you get me more than I thought. I’m sorry for kissing you without asking, that was fucked up. But I hope you’ll hear me out. Give me a second to collect my thoughts.” He clasps his hands in front of his mouth like he’s praying, eyes closed. “Alright. I… I mean. Nobody fucks up my brain like you do. Nobody gets under my skin or makes me angrier and nobody can calm me down when I’m seeing red and I’m ready to fucking bash skulls. It’s not even just about how you make me feel, the way you twist my stomach into knots and shit. It’s just you. The way you get all intense when you watch movies and you ball your fists up when you call out Eridan. It’s the way you punch me because I’m acting out of line, you don’t take shit and that’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. Not just physically, even though damn. But yeah.” He shrugs, looking at the ground. “I’m kind of madly in homos with you.” Karkat sits across from him, hands folded in his lap.  
“Wow.” He blinks at him, all dark lashes and dark skin that looks like wet sand on rocky beaches. “That was. Wow. You confessed your mad homos to me under the high school bleachers. What, are you going to give me your letterman jacket too? Ask me to go steady?” He rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. Dave shivers.  
“Yeah if that’s what you want.” He rolls his eyes, grabbing the front of Dave’s shirt in fistfuls and pulls him close, dragging in a breath.  
“Listen closely, this is how it’s done.” He takes care to enunciate every syllable, looking him dead in the eye. “Dave, would you like me to kiss you?” Dave nods frantically, permission granted. Karkat grins, and kisses him softly before pushing him back into the grass. “It’s pretty goddamn simple, and next time, use your words. You don’t need to strip.” Dave barks out a laugh, sighing.  
“You know, you’re the only one who can take away all my words like that.” He pauses, staring at the beds of his nails. “I really like you.” Karkat snorts and punches him in the shoulder, but there isn’t any strength behind it.  
“Me too, dude.”

**Author's Note:**

> bonus  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgKdyHcZJcs


End file.
